At this point, I was crying a little. I gave JJ a look. He came over and kissed me, a little reward. As if to say, "I'm so glad you're doing this.". I thought he could have been a bit more brutal. I like role-play. Even better if he was wearing a military uniform. But the weather was so hot it would have been torture for him, certainly not the point here.

My skin was raw, even after just a few minutes of the whip. JJ was merciless with the whip. The kiss was nice, but he wasn't going to untie me. I was tied to the post, at his mercy, of course he was going to take advantage of the situation.

I wanted to be brave for him, to take more than Camille or Gabrielle ever did. I wanted to be better. (I've since resolved these competative issues, but that's how it was then.). So I took the lashes, I shook, I cried, I twisted and turned, but I didn't tell him I couldn't take any more. We went on. I took a few more lashes and he kissed me again. I knew he was impressed. I knew he wanted me.

I was toying with the idea of a Vampyre movie set in the 16th century and it involved nuns. I told Jane she could be perfect to play one of those nuns. She was interested, we decided to do a test. She was about to leave for Chile so we had to do it soon.

Jane came for the screen test one day before her trip. As she stood in front of the camera, her eyes closed, hands behind her back bare chested, I asked. "So, you're living tomorrow for Chile right?". Without opening her eyes she responded. "I'll stay if I stay here, with you".

That's exactly what I predicted while crossing the bridge that afternoon. A surprising moment, as unexpected as they could come, where I had to make a decision, a life-changing decision in a matter of mili seconds.

"Sure", I said. I kissed her to seal the deal, it was a really good kiss, we had something in common but I had to know more. The moment of thruth had come. I took her up to my bedroom. Asked her to strip. Got the bullwhip I had near the bed. I sat at the end of the bed and made her sit on the floor in between my legs, I placed her arms over my legs and told her to stretch her legs so her body would rise. Her heas was over my leg, her feet were on the floor, the rest of her body was up in the air. I took the whip, held the short end and began whipping her chest as hard as I could.