March 2005

I saw Jared again. A couple of times. The last time he asked me what I was reading. I told him the various titles, including Story of O. Big hint. And was like, "Oh, I read that...really hot!". So I took that as my cue to tell him I was interested in doing that kind of thing with him. I explained I was new to this sort of thing and he told me that he had done a little, but not much. One girlfriend he had liked to have him grab her throat, that's why, when I responded nicely to his hand on my throat, he took it as a sign that I liked it. So he did it with more intent. I told him that I really liked his hand on my throat. And that we could try some different things. So we got pretty creative. Some time soon I'll ask him if I can take pictures of us having sex.

But anyway. We got pretty turned on talking about what we could do. So we did it. He started by telling me to strip. He sat on the corner of the sofa. And I stood in front of him. Whe I was completely undressed he told me to take kneel down and unzip his pants. His cock was already hard. I took it out and looked at him. He told me to suck it, then he slapped me and called me a slut. That was pretty nice.Then he took my head and stuffed his cock in my mouth. He put it really deep in my throat, so I gagged and he kept telling me to suck it until I had tears running down my face and I couldn't breathe. Then Jared grabbed my hair at the back of my head and pulled me off of him and slapped me again and called me a slut. Then he moaned softly and told me I was beautiful like that, with the tears. He was so cruel and sweet at the same time. So perfect.

He told me to stand up and go in the bedroom and kneel beside the bed with my hands behind my back. I thought to myself, okay, this is someone who has done this before, or is really creative, or has been waiting a really long time to find someone to do this with. The latter, probably. We fucked so nicely, his hand on my throat, he slapped me and then kissed me deeply. I love this thing he does by being extremely cruel to me and then showing his desire for me. But he's never sweet when we're having sex. That I would hate.

Being an actor, he can get into a role, especially one that he likes, very easily. I know because I do the same thing. But at the same time, I wonder about how much he likes this, if he's actually into it or just acting?