May 2005

Jared brought me to an AA meeting that he goes to in, none other than, a church basement. I was so upset by the experience that I cried in the car afterwards. He in turn was upset by my being so upset. At the time I just couldn't explain why I felt that way. Later on I thought about it more and came to the conclusion that it was the stories and pain of these people that brought me to tears. Jared came to the conclusion that, for some reason, I was an alcoholic as well. It seems to me that over the time that we have spent together, he can't accept the fact that I am not an alcoholic. Apparently, I am the only person in his life that is not. I have to admit that I don't entirely understand where he is coming from, his stories about taking lots of drugs or drinking so much he blacked out. I don't even drink every weekend, like most people do. I think it's more a problem of him not understanding how it is that I don't have a problem like his.

Of course, if he thought about it everyone has this emptiness' he talks about, but most people don't obsess over it.

My birthday is in a couple of days. I'm going to spend it with Jared. I suggested a photo session. That would be the best present ever. I want a cake as well, maybe we can get a little crazy with the cake and take pictures. It's funny how I don't document my life with photos, I try to only take photos of things I find funny or interesting. I suppose that ends up being a narrative in the context of my life anyway.