April 2005

Yesterday I was over at Jared's and Tim called. That's the Irish guy I met in in December whe I was visiting friends in New York. From his phone call, he totally sounds like he's still in love with me. All we did was some sight-seeing ad I took him to some museums and, well, now he's in love with me. And he keeps calling. It's like he knows when I'm doing something and then he calls and talks forever. And he's in Bolivia working for a mission there. I don't feel like I've done anything to encourage him. I said we could be friends, but that's it. I had a mmoment with him in a bar in New York where he grabbed the back of my neck and I thought he was something he most definately isn't. He's just a guy, whatever. He's nice to talk to sometimes, and I can't help feeling flattered. And it makes Jared a little jealous, which makes him more interested in me.

I've been opening up to Jared more, I don't talk about Julian, that would be in bad taste. The sex is really great. The other night he made me take of my clothes and stand in the middle of the living room. Then he told me to bend over and stay that way, touching my toes. He sat on the couch behind me. I could see him through my legs and he took out his cock, and looking at me, stroked himself for several minutes. I had a hard time staying like that, bent over. I would rest on my heels and then lean forward a little bit, resting on the palms of my hands, pushing myself up with my fingertips. All the blood ran to my head. My ass felt so exposed. Even more so because he wasn't touching me, just watching. After a while, he stood up, took something off the sofa, dropped his pants and came up behind me. All I felt was the warmth of his body and and the tip of his hard cock pressing into me. He bent down and grabbed my left wrist, then my right, holding them behind me and tied them together with something, I couldn't see what it was. He held my wrists like that, joined together, pulling me up into a more perpendicular position and sank his cock into me. We fucked like that until he came, pulling on my tied wrists the whole time.

Afterwards we talked about how good it was, I lay on the carpet, completely wasted from the experience. He said he really liked having sex with me. That he loved thinking about what he wanted to do to me, and then the next time he saw me, to do it. That he had never been able to do that with a woman. He said he likes my body, how I'm thin, but I have muscles. That I feel strong, yet pliable when he touches me.